Do Svidanya, Robbio!

We're feeling uncharacteristically kind-hearted.

To be honest, conceptually, this was actually a very good idea. It's the execution that was piss-poor.

We thought that the basic idea behind it was sound. It still looked like a uniform but with slightly more style and with comfort and ease of movement as the main attributes.

That's all well and good, but unfortunately, the end product was ugly. The fabric looked cheap and the colors were drab and a little depressing. It was also unusually poorly made. Not that Robert ever demonstrated master tailoring skills, but he was usually able to pull something together that looked, you know...done.

That top is an utter disaster. You just know Olga's all "I left Russia for this?"

Here's the thing: we think the judges ignored their own criteria in this instance. Time and time again, in all 3 seasons of the show, when the decision came down to aufing a designer who took some risks and failed and aufing a designer who took no risks, the judges always keep the designer who took the risks. Not so in this case. They'd never admit it, but we suspect the judges had come to the same question that the remaining designers had all been asking: "What is Rob still doing here?" Whatever he designed, unless it turned out to be some sort of masterpiece (which was about as likely as Wendy deciding not to be a sociopath), the judges had it in for him and he was going to go this week.

Don't get us wrong, we're not defending the outfit. It was definitely bad. And yes, it really was time for him to go, but it felt like the judges didn't have a good enough reason to do so and just sort of glossed over that part of the discussion.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Whorin' It Up for Fashion

Well, we guess it's somewhat comforting to know that we'll still have street urchins in 2055. We wonder if they'll still have a tendency to break into song, the plucky little moptops.

Seriously, what the fuck? This is hideous. Somewhere along the line, Robert must have misunderstood the challenge and assumed it was "Buy a lot of thrift store clothes and rip them up." That's about the only plausible explanation for this monstrosity.

Sure, he at least went for a deconstructed look, which puts him ahead of some of the other designers, but it was supposed to be, y'know, a good deconstructed look.

We do kinda like the way he did the quilting though.

That about sums up Robert's design philosophy right there. "How do I use my looks and charm to bullshit my way out of this?"

The sad part is, it worked.

Concerned Fashion Editor: Robert, what's going on?

Self-proclaimed Studly Fashion Designer: Blah blah blah...energy...coffee...solar panels...

uh...

A WOMAN IS LIKE A SPORTS CAR. WITH SOLAR PANELS. Or maybe that's a sunroof.

...

*big cheesy smile*

Giggly Teenage Girl: Oh! Okay, then! Could you turn around so I can see the back?

No, not you. Him.

Reality Television Show Hostess: My spangled top is burning holes in my face, but Robert? You're in. Ann will meet you backstage so you can "thank" her.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

Look! A sports car! Oh wait, that's a woman. We get the two confused so often.

Oh Robert, if women are like sports cars, you just sent a Pacer down the runway.

For someone who's whole schtick seems to be how sexy he finds women, he sure has problems highlighting their natural curves. The fit on this is terrible. It looks like Olga accidentally got booked for a plus-sized show.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ASS-FITTING IN THIS GROUP? We are far from aficionados of the girlbutt, but even we could tell at a glance that that's not how it's supposed to be shaped. It looks like she has the suit on backwards.

We understand the concept of a bathing suit that's more for socializing than actually swimming, really we do, but this is a dress, pure and simple.

A cute, sexy, fun, on-the-beach or by-the-pool kinda dress, but a dress nonetheless. If Martinique hadn't offered to wear her own thong, this probably would have been a disaster.

Look at how constructed that thing is. We at first thought it was a simple wrap of some sort, but that has as much detail as your average bridesmaid dress.

The colors are pretty, though. A little sherbet-y, but this would look great in St. Tropez or South Beach - so long as it never gets wet.

And THAT

is an image we could have done without, thank you very much.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Robert & Wendy

We wanted to break these up as the "Best of the Rest" and the "Rest of the Rest," but really, there wasn't enough of a difference so we're doing it kind of arbitrarily.

Lorenzo nailed it. He said she looked like the bride on top of the cake and he's right. This is completely unimaginative.

Maybe we're just too focused on the upcoming Dreamgirls premiere, but doesn't she? Look like a Supreme? Just a little bit?

There's nothing wrong with being a sexy bride, but the removable skirt was a little too stagewear, too "Like a Virgin." Bleh. Gimmicky.

We actually didn't hate this dress. We didn't exactly love it, but it was competently made and she at least tried to do something a little different and interesting. The red was a nice touch but the overall design is so bland that it doesn't even register as a wedding dress. It looks more like a coming out dress.

That's....way off. It just doesn't go with the front of the dress. And again, it looks decidedly un-bridal.

But hey, it's a hell of a sight better than her makeup this week.

For Christ's sake, she looks like Witchie Poo.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Crack-Smoking Judges Strike Again

Two years later and we're still not over the fact that this look was totally ignored. It was the only look on the runway this week that wasn't 100% derivative. Original, striking and perfectly executed. Plus, Jay's team was the only one that was completely devoid of any drama.

That leather bodice is absolutely stunning. It has that hardcore look that it should have, but the feather "sleeves" give it a soft femininity.

And we loved the "skirt" even if it was a little gimmicky. Sure, you could say that it was just as Cyndi Lauper as Kevin's outfit, but paired with that top and those tight pants it had a totally different vibe to it. We love the panels in the pants and the subtle use of the black pinstripe among all that deconstructed frillery in the skirt.

We don't know what that thing is on her ass but it's one of the few things on this outfit we don't like. Like we said, the skirt's a little gimmicky, but then again stage wear should be a little gimmicky. We can just see Sarah Hudson ripping that off on stage and using it as a prop.

Okay, we can't actually see Sarah Hudson doing it because we never heard of her before or since, but someone could do it.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

And the retro train keeps rolling along. Funny how each designer seemed to pick a decade. Alexandra: 1930s, Austin: 1950s, Wendy: 1960s and now Vanessa: 1940s.

We'll give her credit for at least updating a 1940s look instead of simply redoing it outright. We don't really like this dress, though. First off, it doesn't look particularly well-executed and secondly that neckline is a bit much. Nothing wrong with a plunging neckline but it's not something you'd see at Banana Republic and besides, all you need is a slight breeze to get her arrested on an indecent exposure charge.

That hemline does look a little interesting, but unfortunately we can't get a good enough look at it to judge either way.

Oy. Did she skin a muppet to get that thing?

This is a walking disaster. It's to his credit that he knew it. There's nothing more painful than an oblivious designer beaming proudly as their latest hot mess comes strolling down the runway.

We almost feel like there's no point in critiquing this since the episode made it clear that this wasn't so much a design as it was whatever was left over on the dress form after he spent too long experimenting. Although this dress was damned right from the starting point just because of his fabric choices. Faux leopard and ice blue charmeuse? Yikes.

We were never really on the Robert-is-a-hottie bandwagon, but y'know? Stress looks good on him. When he's not mugging for the cameras or acting like a doofus, he's downright do-able.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Best of the Rest

The PRGayBoys were in mild disagreement over this one. Lorenzo liked it a lot more than Tom did. It's definitely bold and eye-catching. But penis envy, Robert? Puh-leeze.

It wasn't an original concept, but against what the other designers were doing, it stood out. It's a little pucker-y but for the most part, it's well-executed. It's just the color choices we're not crazy about more than anything.

Wow, that bitch from e-bay really tore this to shreds. We didn't think it was that bad. Conceptually, it was very weak. You don't really get the envy vibe off it. It looks more like a wedding dress than anything else, especially with the bound hands resembling a bouquet. We're not sure if that was deliberate, but if it was, we'll give her points for being clever.

And the back makes a little more sense than the front, in terms of her explanation. Simplistic, sure. But did you have to make Nora cry, e-bitch?

Martinique, you slinkyfabulous thing, you.

Don't get us wrong, it's definitely costume-y and maybe not even pretty, but we were talking about this last night and we decided that this really is how Austin envisions envy. It just felt like pure expression of vision to us. The green heart is clever and the whole "Evil Queen" thing is totally Austin. Plus we loved the way he directed her to slink down the runway.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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