The Scarlett Letter: F

Did you ever watch a fish flapping around out of water or a turtle on its back trying to right itself? That was Austin this week.

Poor thing. This challenge was not only not up his alley, it's pretty much antithetical to his entire aesthetic. Austin doesn't "do" deconstruction. Austin doesn't "do" bizarre costume challenges.

Those sleeves are really weird.

What Austin does very well is make beautiful clothing for real-world women. You hand him a challenge that's purely conceptual and he flounders.

Bottom line: this was absolutely ugly. He tried his damnedest, though. That much is evident.

It looks like he stripped the upholstery off an old couch. Frankly, all his fabric choices were pretty ugly.

We're assuming the multiple rough hems were his attempt at deconstruction but putting them on such a tailored piece just makes it look unfinished.

It looks well-tailored for the most part. We'll give him that. Of course that flies in the face of what the whole collection was about, but then again the team leader went even further against the grain than he did. It could just be that Austin was following Kevin's lead.

Naah. That's not entirely fair. The fact of the matter is, he was responsible for his own design and on almost every level the design failed. We've seen too much of Austin's work to claim he's a bad designer. He's an excellent designer. It's just that this is something he never would have attempted in the real word because it's so not him.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Adios, Alexandra!

We didn't really think the judges had a good reason to auf her, so they made one up. The only design issue was that it was too small for the model to wear. Otherwise, it was a perfectly good bathing suit and better than at least a couple of the other ones on the runway.

Good god, girl! Eat a burger or something!

Are those...jingle bells hanging off her? If so, then we amend our earlier statement. There were two design issues.

Seriously, her ribcage scares us. This was a case of not considering the model's body type when designing the garment. She would have looked much better in a one-piece.

Of course, that really wasn't the judges' issue. They aufed her for being derivative. Thing is, that's a crock. You could have made the same argument about any of the suits on the runway. Jay basically started off by saying "I saw a suit somewhere that had a lot of straps, so that's what I'm doing." The only difference is, Alexandra actually came right out and mentioned her inspirations in front of the judges.

Aaaaannnd they basically look like a million other bathing suits out there. Meaning, they were "derivative" too. Silly judges.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Alexandra, Kevin, and Olga The Terrible

Feh. Alexandra really likes that loose, flowy stuff but she looks like a stack of lampshades.

Yeah....no. If there was a critique, we would offer it, but this is just bland and nondescript. A little too grecian for our tastes and like a lot of the offerings this week, it looks less like a bridal gown than just a white dress.

Before we get into Kevin's dress, it's time for the Models We Don't Like portion of our program.

Olga. While her boyfriend was downright doable, we just can't stand her. She's nasty and she seems to think the show is about her. We're getting a little tired of watching her push the camera out of her face. This isn't paparazzi, you pain in the ass. These are the people filming the show you agreed to be on.

And all the whining about having to wear garments! Get over yourself, Anastasia! Do you hear brain surgeons whine all day about having to, you know, perform surgery on brains? It's your job, girl! Get on with it and shut up.

Despite her pain-in-the-ass-edness and her tackiness and language difficulties ("I want diamonds on the carseat!"), this dress turned out okay.

It's a little too wrinkly for presentation and that bodice doesn't look as well-fitted as it should be and yeah, it's a pretty standard wedding dress, but he made the "diamonds" work without being tacky and overall, the effect is pretty.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Crack-Smoking Judges Strike Again

Two years later and we're still not over the fact that this look was totally ignored. It was the only look on the runway this week that wasn't 100% derivative. Original, striking and perfectly executed. Plus, Jay's team was the only one that was completely devoid of any drama.

That leather bodice is absolutely stunning. It has that hardcore look that it should have, but the feather "sleeves" give it a soft femininity.

And we loved the "skirt" even if it was a little gimmicky. Sure, you could say that it was just as Cyndi Lauper as Kevin's outfit, but paired with that top and those tight pants it had a totally different vibe to it. We love the panels in the pants and the subtle use of the black pinstripe among all that deconstructed frillery in the skirt.

We don't know what that thing is on her ass but it's one of the few things on this outfit we don't like. Like we said, the skirt's a little gimmicky, but then again stage wear should be a little gimmicky. We can just see Sarah Hudson ripping that off on stage and using it as a prop.

Okay, we can't actually see Sarah Hudson doing it because we never heard of her before or since, but someone could do it.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Best of the Rest

What is it with all the retro stuff this week? True, Banana Republic did have a "Grandma's attic" story to sell, but the designers went a little overboard.

It's pretty. The top and the neckline look great. Delicate and feminine, which definitely seems to be Alexandra's thing. Downside: it's a little too nightgown-y and once again, these all-one-color dresses tend to get a little boring. And that hem looks a mess.

Is it us or are the designers overusing the accessories wall this season? It's a chic, pretty dress and that hat does nothing for it. In fact, it takes away from it.

Kevin's aesthetic is pretty hard to pin down and this is coming from someone who's seen everything he made this season. This is sort of "classic with a twist" but then some of his other designs have been as out-there as anything Jay or even Jeffrey made.

Love the skirt, love the trim, hate the flower, but then again, we're pretty biased against them. We can't stand grown women wearing bows or flowers unless it's done with real subtlety. This is not subtle and it really works against the dress, which is all urban sophistication. It really doesn't need that Daisy Mae touch.

This was clearly not a Banana Republic dress, but props to Nora, because we really liked this one. Could've done without the neck brace, though.

Not crazy about that sash, but we loved the fabric choice and the asymmetrical pleating. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE MINNIE MOUSE GLOVES.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Forgettable, That's What You Are

All we were going to do was post a one-line joke about this pic:

Which, let's just get out of the way now: She looks like someone beat her in the face repeatedly with a fingerpainting kit.

Anyway, we realized we completely forgot to talk about her dress this week.

Oh, that's right. That's because it's completely forgettable.

Anyway, see you on the couch tonight for Episode 3, Dears!


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Super Mario

Oh, please.

It's certainly not ugly, but for crying out loud, Wendy put more work into her Candy Hooker outfit than Mario did for this thing.

Certainly, there's no rule that says fashion has to be complicated but we would think a design competition would frown upon simply tying a garment together on a model. Did he do any sewing at all? Or even any cutting, for that matter?

Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling this was the closest he'd been to a shower curtain in quite some time. We just want to get a napkin and blot him.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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