There's no "I" in "team" but there is one in "bitch."

This was the one where Wendy showed her true colors. After this, there was no one left to defend her or think the best of her. Poor Kevin. Yeah, he was a lousy team leader but he clearly didn't want the position.

"Ha. Kevin. Sucks to be you, dude."

Although we'll give the other designers (sans Wendy) credit for at least trying to put their game faces on.

"Bitches...GO!"

But man, that bitch had it in for him the minute he was named team leader. She knew going into it that he wasn't going to be good at it (as witnessed by his last go-round as a TL), but unlike Jay, who tried to just plow his way through a bad situation or Kara Saun, who tried to take over in a bad situation, Wendy's first and only thought was "How can I make this bad situation work to my advantage?"

"Wendy, we're such great friends!"

"Haha. Yes, that's right. Wendy will never hurt you, Kevin. Do you hear me? Wendy. Will. Never. Hurt. You."

Just look at her. "You will be mine, Kevin Johnn. Oh yes, you will be mine."

Bitch, you're not plotting for shares in Denver Carrington, you're making a dress. Get to work and stop acting like you're starring in your own personal soap opera.

"Kevin sucks."

"Would you be willing to say that to the judges?"

"Listen, I want to win. I'll tell the judges he's been shooting up in the sewing room if I have to."

"Good. Carry on!"

What's so exasperating about the whole thing is that Wendy's observations about the team were for the most part, dead-on. She's not a bitch for pointing out problems; she's a bitch for not doing so until she was in front of a judge. If she had just voiced some of her concerns early in the process - and she was well aware of what was going wrong early in the process - she could have made the attempt to offer suggestions or corrections. She could have come out of this looking really good. Wendy's problem is, she approaches the competition not with the thought of "How do I make myself look good here?" but with the thought of "How do I make someone else look really bad here?" Classic low self esteem.

Dunh-dunh-DUNH!!!!!!!

Oh please. Wendy's good at the soap-operatic threats. Hell, it's the only way she knows how to think. When Kevin makes them they're about as threatening as a toothless poodle.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Seeya, Kevin!

We don't get this one at all. In another collection, this look might have worked, except there's so many problems with it that we're stuck scratching our heads and trying to figure it out. The biggest mystery of course, is what the hell he was thinking producing such a tailored piece when the designers had all agreed to less constructed pieces.

We kinda like the overall design and some of the elements - the colors, the quilted bodice, the somewhat extreme tailoring - but it just doesn't seem to come together somehow. It seems pretty clear that Kevin simply couldn't handle being both a team leader and a designer at the same time.

There just seems to be all this weird and unnecessary frippery, like the goofy stuff he did with the sleeves...

...And that mega-goofy collar thing which just sticks out at a weird angle. We can't tell if that was a deliberate design element or just a construction issue. And what's with that extra flap of quilting on the top? And that skirt is fitted terribly.

All in all, Kevin's something of a mystery to us. We can see that he has talent but it was always hard to find things we liked about his work. Sometimes designers get aufed because they just don't have what it takes to be a designer and sometimes they get aufed because they just don't have what it takes to survive in a reality television competition. We suspect Kevin is an instance of the latter.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Princess Morgan in the Land of Make Believe

We don't get it.

Seriously, we don't get how this is considered a bathing suit. It looks like your standard slut uniform: Skin tight, low cut top with a uterus skirt. Who wears something like this to go swimming?

Ah. Of course. Clearly, he was designing with the crazy in mind. How much you wanna bet she deliberately let one rip in his face?

Whenever they give Morgan the smokey eye, it only accentuates the sheer craziness underneath. She just looks a little too Baby Jane here, y'know? And poor Kevin has been cast in the Joan Crawford role. He looks like he's fearing for his life.

Actually, he's fearing for his garment. Kevin, stop being such a doormat. Everyone there knew it was a bad idea to let her go out wearing that thing. Even you knew it. So why did you let her go?

"mwah. I promise I'll be good, mommy and won't sit on any boys' laps. Can I have your credit card? And some rubbers?"

Now it's like an updated version of Carrie, with the crazy mom and the homicidal daughter.

"THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU...laugh at you...laugh at you...laugh at you..."

And while she didn't get drenched in pig's blood (dammit), she did wind up doing exactly what everyone thought she would: trashing the garment. Quel surprise.

"Ooops. HAHAHA."

It would be bad for two grown men to post their fantasies about hitting her and never stopping, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?

And then she had the nerve to be all attitudinal about it. Is she not aware of the cameras capturing her every move and utterance? Or do the cameramen just blend in with the talking unicorns and dancing fire hydrants and whatever else parades in front of her eyes?

See, we think Morgan isn't necessarily the walking personality disorder she appears to be. We think Morgan can't tell the difference between real people and whatever she's hallucinating at the moment, so she just goes with the assumption that everything's just a figment of her imagination and she only has to pay attention when she feels like it.

It makes sense, doesn't it? In order for her to understand that she was appearing on a reality show, someone would have had to sit her down and explain just what "reality" is. And honeys, we can't blame anyone for not succeeding in that endeavor.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]


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Alexandra, Kevin, and Olga The Terrible

Feh. Alexandra really likes that loose, flowy stuff but she looks like a stack of lampshades.

Yeah....no. If there was a critique, we would offer it, but this is just bland and nondescript. A little too grecian for our tastes and like a lot of the offerings this week, it looks less like a bridal gown than just a white dress.

Before we get into Kevin's dress, it's time for the Models We Don't Like portion of our program.

Olga. While her boyfriend was downright doable, we just can't stand her. She's nasty and she seems to think the show is about her. We're getting a little tired of watching her push the camera out of her face. This isn't paparazzi, you pain in the ass. These are the people filming the show you agreed to be on.

And all the whining about having to wear garments! Get over yourself, Anastasia! Do you hear brain surgeons whine all day about having to, you know, perform surgery on brains? It's your job, girl! Get on with it and shut up.

Despite her pain-in-the-ass-edness and her tackiness and language difficulties ("I want diamonds on the carseat!"), this dress turned out okay.

It's a little too wrinkly for presentation and that bodice doesn't look as well-fitted as it should be and yeah, it's a pretty standard wedding dress, but he made the "diamonds" work without being tacky and overall, the effect is pretty.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Congratulations Kevin!

Quickie recap: The challenge was a "rock and roll makeover" for an artist no one ever heard of before. Each designer submitted sketches to singer Sarah Hudson and she chose the three best; Austin, Jay, and Kevin. Each designer picked two from the remaining designers for three teams of three. Kevin's team, which included Nora and Alexandra, won. You can read Tim's Take on this episode here.

Oh, Melissa. What have they done to you?

Not only would this not have been our choice for the win, we considered it the worst out of the three.

We'll grant you that a design challenge like this means you can pretty much throw everything out the window and do whatever you want, but this is not only ugly, it's ridiculously dated.

This is straight out of the 1984 playbook. Pure "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Is there anything more cliched than a fauxhawk and fishnets? This doesn't look "rocker" to us; it looks "poser."

In fact, it looks like a Halloween costume. Like what a 16-year-old would put together for an '80s theme party. She looks like she shredded an old prom dress and then raided her father's tie rack for accessories, which, if you're Molly Ringwald in a John Hughes film, would be considered spunky and cute, but in 2004 it just looked tired and done.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Best of the Rest

What is it with all the retro stuff this week? True, Banana Republic did have a "Grandma's attic" story to sell, but the designers went a little overboard.

It's pretty. The top and the neckline look great. Delicate and feminine, which definitely seems to be Alexandra's thing. Downside: it's a little too nightgown-y and once again, these all-one-color dresses tend to get a little boring. And that hem looks a mess.

Is it us or are the designers overusing the accessories wall this season? It's a chic, pretty dress and that hat does nothing for it. In fact, it takes away from it.

Kevin's aesthetic is pretty hard to pin down and this is coming from someone who's seen everything he made this season. This is sort of "classic with a twist" but then some of his other designs have been as out-there as anything Jay or even Jeffrey made.

Love the skirt, love the trim, hate the flower, but then again, we're pretty biased against them. We can't stand grown women wearing bows or flowers unless it's done with real subtlety. This is not subtle and it really works against the dress, which is all urban sophistication. It really doesn't need that Daisy Mae touch.

This was clearly not a Banana Republic dress, but props to Nora, because we really liked this one. Could've done without the neck brace, though.

Not crazy about that sash, but we loved the fabric choice and the asymmetrical pleating. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE MINNIE MOUSE GLOVES.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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The Rest of the Rest

Ew.

We guess it's supposed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek but frankly, it's bordering on the vulgar and again, we're surprised the judges seemed to gloss right over it.

This is just a great big what the fuck. For some reason, the designers this season seem determined to do everything they can to make pretty girls look like scary clowns.

We just don't get it at all. Where's the "envy" part?

Hate it. Hate the rick-racky trim. It makes the whole thing look way too home-sewn. Once again, we have to ask: where's the envy part of this, Alexandra?

She's got it, yeah baby she's got it
I'm your Venus
I'm your fire
Your desire

It's just so bleh. So...undesigned. It's not ugly and it seems to be well-executed but when you're relying on the whickety whack to make your outfit, there's definitely something lacking in your design.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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