Starting Your Week with Delicious Dish.

New York Magazine has an eye-opening article about what happens to Bravo reality show contestants after their 15 minutes are up. We were really happy to read this because it contains stuff that we'd been hearing for a while but didn't have the right to publish ourselves. Bravo doesn't come off that great here and Heidi has a real bitchquote at the end.

Some choice bits (but you really need to read the whole thing):

Jay:
“I haven’t been living anywhere for two years,” he says. “I sleep at other people’s houses. I sleep here if I’m drunk.”

“I have a fucking gazillion e-mails from all over the world from people asking, Why isn’t your stuff out there?” says Jay. “Yet financially, I have no way to get them a product because I got pushed out of a boat and into the ocean, as if, Oh, you can survive now.”

(Photo: Jessica Wynne)

Andrae:
"Today, he still sews the odd custom dress for $1,500, and he teaches too, but he makes a fair chunk of his money doing gigs that exploit his reality-show fame, like hosting events at gay bars in Pittsburgh. He knows this won’t last. “I tell everyone I’m not a star,” he says. “I’m a brown dwarf.”

Austin:
"Austin Scarlett, the young Quentin Crisp from the first season of Project Runway, says he was approached about a role on Heather Graham’s short-lived sitcom, Emily’s Reasons Why Not. Today he wonders if he should have mulled it over. “Because I don’t think you should turn down work that much,” he says. “That’s one of my continuing struggles, being considered a reality-TV, you know, star.” I ask if he’s ever done TV gigs he’s come to regret. “Yeeeeeeeees,” he says. “Battle of the Network Reality Stars.” Shortly afterward, he appeared on a reality reunion show on Bravo, too. “I felt so cheap and tawdry,” he says. “They gave me $500, and I was like, Keep the money. It was just part of my confusion, grasping for the next thing.”

Nick:
“When they asked me why I wanted to be on Project Runway,” says Nick Verreos, 40, who made the fetching Barbie dress from Season Two (it sold for $1,700 on projectrunway.com), “I said I wanted to use it as a trampoline. Because I knew I was doing fierce stuff, but nobody was noticing.”

Santino:
“No one wanted to interview Chloe,” Santino says. “I’m sure I did like 500 percent more interviews. That’s what I won.”

"I crack myself up by saying, It’s lucky that I turn things down so that Nick has stuff to do,” says Santino."

“Between Heidi and Michael Kors and Nina Garcia, the judges were like a three-headed monster,” he says. “They all basically have the same point of view. I mean, have one avant-garde person who has an art-as-fashion approach, rather than fashion-as-commerce approach.” Then, of course, he made an almost perversely beautiful collection for Fashion Week, and the judges said there wasn’t enough of him in it. “And it’s like, Really?” he asks. “Gee, that’s funny, because I made this shit!”

Laura:
"When Laura, hugely popular with fans, failed to notify the network she’d signed a contract to host a style show on MSN.com, they called and demanded an explanation. “And I said, ‘So what do you have to offer me?’ ” she says. (She’s now in talks with Bravo about doing something for its Website and iVillage.)"

UPDATE: "Is Jay McCarroll Homeless? He Sure Said So (and So Did His Publicist)." Read it here.

Andrae: Gathering Moss

A damn shame. We can understand the judges' reasoning behind the auf'ing, but it seemed to us that Andrae was finally getting the hang of this thing and realized it's about expressing yourself through your designs and not by playing to the camera. This was actually a cute dress.

Unfortunately, this was a cute dress with some issues. Namely, the fit. We can't really add anything to what the judges said on that issue. It just looks big and stiff on her and completely obliterates her natural curves. And we hate the knot in the belt.

Oh sure, it's a little costume-y, but come on, it's made out of plants. All of the designs looked costume-y to us. Even Chloe's, to a certain extent.

Could have done without all that schmutz on the bottom of the skirt though. Yes, he needed to add something to this all-moss dress, but that wasn't the place to put it.

With only some minor adjustments to the design and some more attention paid to the fit, we think this could have won it. The design is classic. Sort of like Audrey Hepburn as a wood nymph. Unfortunately, at this stage in the game, designer's are auf'd for the most minor of transgressions and someone had to go this week. He got on our nerves more often than not, but he has vision and talent. We would have loved to have seen what he could have done for Bryant Park.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Andrae: Now THAT'S what we're talking about.

Hello, 911? We'd like to report a robbery.

We may have given the impression that we hate Andrae. That's not it. We think he needs to pare down the bullshit and just express himself in his work, because when he does, he really demonstrates the soul of an artist. This was a unique and beautiful inspiration that yielded a unique and beautiful dress.

If we can wax a little poetic, it has a dreamy, lyrical quality to it that up to now had not been seen in any of Andrae's designs. If he could tap into that more often, he could really be a force to be reckoned with.

Minor criticisms: we could have done without the baubles and the blue fabric was just a bit too heavy in the front. Not-so-minor criticism: the fit in the bust ain't so hot.

Aside from that, this was a uniquely beautiful garment that clearly came from a place of pure inspiration. He really should have won this one.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Justify My Dance Recital

Here's what we find so annoying about Andrae: he can't just complete the task at hand; he has to make some sort of grandstanding statement all the time.

Which is fine, but this is a reality show competition and it's just not the place for you to be crying about past failures, making a statement on standards of beauty, or in this case, designing something completely inappropriate for competitive figure skating.

Taken on its own, it's okay, we guess. A little sloppy-looking, but okay. It might make a decent dancer's costume but the whole fetishy, Justify My Love thing he's got going on here sort of overwhelms the whole garment. It's fine to use your work to make a statement but so far, every statement he's attempted to make has been an empty one.

Tootie!

And speaking of dancer's costumes...

This is, again, a perfectly serviceable design, but it looks like something a 14 year old would wear at a dance recital. All she needs is patent leather tap shoes with bows on them, braces, and a home perm to complete the look.

The bodice is nice and the fabric she used is pretty. If she'd lost the hat and reconsidered the fringe, it would have gone a long way to dispel the stench of rented dance costume.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Congratulations Daniel and Andrae!

Quickie recap: The designers not only have to design an outfit for Banana Republic, they have to design and implement a window display for a Banana Republic store. You can read Tim's take on this episode here and listen to his podcast here.

Truth be told, we don't love this outfit.

The dress itself has some nice detailing and it's well executed but we both went "Hunh?" when Nina called it "modern." We were thinking exactly the opposite. It just looked so done to us.

See, this just falls into the "pretty but plain" category for us. It looks like a basic but well done Simplicity pattern. Not to disparage home-sewers (in fact, we love checking out what some of our talented bitches-with-needles are working on), but you have to admit ladies, there are a lot of very basic designs out there for the intermediate-level sewer and this looks like one of them to us.

And it's made doubly worse by the addition of that far-too-precious jacket.

It not only looks, as Tim suggested, a little prim, it looks a little juvenile. Like a ten-year-old's party dress.

We suspect that a big part of the win was due to Rebecca really hauling ass and working it in the window. We hope you took her out for some solid food as a treat, boys.

Despite our criticisms, we don't hate the outfit. Like we said, it's well-executed. It's just kinda basic - even for that House of Basic, Banana Republic.

And besides, it once again afforded us a minor, but delicious weekly pleasure.

The "steam coming out of Santino's ears" screencap. Say what you will about the man, he is hella entertaining. There is not one emotion that he can successfully keep off his face. He puts everything right out there. Which is why, every time we get one of these screencaps, there is only one person we can think of.

We can't be the only ones who see it, can we?


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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One we loved and two we absolutely HATED

Y'know, we've given Andrae a lot of grief in the past, but credit where credit's due, this is a really beautiful dress.

It's feminine, chic and understated, which is ironic because we wouldn't have used ANY of those words to describe his previous entries. It's also beautifully fitted. The bodice hugs her just enough and the skirt flows beautifully. Kudos to him for not going overboard on the detailing, offering just enough sparkle to bump it up without overwhelming.

We love the trim on the bust and the double straps too (although they don't look so hot from the back), which could have come off gimmicky but doesn't . The way the fabric gathers and droops in the back is sexy and makes this as much a "walking away" dress as it is a "walking toward" dress. Nice job, drama queen.

JESUS.

What a stunningly ugly dress this is. Zulema, enough with the white and black. It's boring as hell. The leather is too heavy to be paired with whatever that fabric is she used for the rest of the dress. We kept thinking poor Rachel was going to fall over.

It's once again an amazingly poorly constructed garment. Amazing because she's still in the game after sending so many half-assed (or in one case, full-assed) garments down the runway. Not that perfect execution would have saved this dress. It's an ugly design no matter how well it's put together.

A simple "Jesus" won't suffice here. We're afraid we're going to have to call down Mary and Joseph on this one too.

Let's get this out of the way first. We really feel sorry for Marla. She's in WAY over her head and she knows it. We can't remember when she said it but she admitted at one point that she'd never seen the show before. We have no idea what she sells in her boutique or whether it's any good but based on her work on the show, she is, sorry to say, not a designer at all.

Because a designer (at least one competing in a design competition) would have never attempted what she did here. It's really stunning to look at the two dresses side by side. They're almost indistinguishable.

And God, Marla. If you're going to rip off a dress, at least rip off a dress that isn't hideously ugly to start with.

We met Marla once and she's a very sweet, friendly woman, but she never should have been allowed to stay after this. As ugly as Lupe's dress was, it was in fact, Lupe's design and that should have counted for more because as we said, this is a design competition, not a sewing competition. And frankly, Marla wouldn't even have been able to win a sewing competition. It's harsh (and we're surprised Señora Harsh herself didn't say this), but she really does not belong here.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Our Little Lamb is dancing.

Darlings, what could we possibly add to what you are about to see? Nothing really, but in order to slightly prepare yourselves, read along:

"February 16 + 17
BATHROOM FOLLIES
JAMIE BENSON + ANDRAE GONZALO
This Choreographer/Fashion Designer team present an examination of artifice and its function in the American psyche through the combined vernacular of dance and fashion. The hidden truths of the human experience lie behind “closed stalls.” They are the “garments” we are left wearing, after being fully exposed. Only when we bother to start looking, do we truly begin to see."

Hmmm.



Well! We feel like we have TOTALLY had the hidden truths of the human experience exposed to us for the first time! We have truly begun to see.

And you?

S2/E4: Congratulations Daniel V.!

Quickie recap: The designers are broken into teams of three in order for each team to produce a lingerie collection.You can read Tim's take on this episode here and listen to his podcast here.

This was one bizarre episode. All this drama seemed to come flying out of nowhere and suddenly everyone DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FINISH OHMIGOD!!!!!

And then this stuff comes walking down the runway.

Seriously? It took 3 people a day and a half to make this?

As far as this collection goes, two words: Playboy and bunny. It was just basic. That's all one can say about it. And holy cow, is this piece poorly fitted. Zulema's, we're assuming.

Poor Rachel. That poor girl's ass has seen more attention than your average gay porn star's. Little known fact: Bravo briefly considering giving her ass its own spinoff series but preview audiences didn't go for it.

To be fair, they don't all look like Playboy bunnies. Some of them look like step aerobic instructors in 1994.

Except the cuffs TOTALLY add a saucy little twist, right? Bleh. In the immortal words of the Duchess, we're underwhelmed.

Basically, they won it by default. The other collections were either so bad or so chock full of interteam drama that the judges had to give it to them. Even so, we do have to thank them for one thing.

If you look closely you can just see the steam starting to come out of his ears.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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