Shredding the Hair

Let's take an opinionated look at the final hair collections, shall we, kittens?

First up: Miss Daisy.



First off, we don't know what the hell's going on with that makeup. She looks like a mime.

This is a cute cut. She's got kind of an angular face for such a severe bob, but she had to pick one of them for it and this wigstand's got great hair. Daisy kept going on and on about her marcel wave and we're just not seeing it. Like Anthony said, there's just a little bump on the side of her head.




OhmiGOD, that is some TRANNY HAIR! Sorry, but that is just a big NO. She looks like a Hispanic Priscilla Presley. Granted, this wigstand had some major-league thickness going on, but that's when we course correct, Daisy dear.



Okay, so she took a really cute wigstand with great cheekbones and made her look ...prissy and plain. Of course it doesn't help that she's wearing a Princess Prissypants dress. It might have turned out cute if she'd had enough time to dry the pincurls, but as it is, it looks precious and old-fashioned. The back's kind of cute, though.

Ben:



It really did look great from the front. Michael Carl was dead-on when he said he got an Angeline Jolie vibe off of it. Unfortunately, that back is pure ass. A shame, because if he could have nailed this one, he might just have won it.



It's a really great cut. Ben does have skills, despite there being some doubt as to whether he "deserved" to be there. We're not supercrazy about the asymmetricality or the bangs (which look way too short), but that back is near-perfect.



It's a great cut but it's on the wrong wigstand. We don't claim to know how it turned out this way, but he gave her a youthful sexy cut and somehow she came out looking ten years older.

Writing about hair is fun! What a refreshing change after ten months of "We don't like that hem."

Anthony:



Best bob out of the three of them. Almost perfect job on this one. One problem: that is the wrong cut for that wigstand. It instantly put ten pounds on her face. The heavy makeup didn't help. She was a pretty little wigstand in her before pic. Now she just looks like she's trying too hard.



Okay, this one's tough because we'll admit upfront: we hate this kind of cut. We hate the gigantic bangs look. A little too Agent 99. That's just us, though. Certainly it's well-executed and it frames her face well. It's just that we don't thinks she looks all that pretty.



Yeah, it's a little blunt and angular but it's a perfect precision cut and it's a clear improvement over the wigstand's original look. Color's great too. No, darlings. It's clear to us that Anthony was the definite winner. Come on, when you're facing Vidal Sassoon, you don't do up-do's and finger curls; you do precision cuts and a LOT of them! The judges made the right choice. Imagine that! A Bravo reality show where there's absolutely no controversy over who won!

Okay bitches. Your turn. Let 'er rip.

Finale Party Antics

Darlings, when a GayBoy can't meet the demands of his title, one must appoint a runner-up to keep up our extensive schedule of personal appearances for shopping mall grand openings and finale parties. It's simply too much fabulous for one GayBoy. There must always be two. So when Tom realized he couldn't go with Lorenzo to the Nexxus Shear Genius Finale Party, there was only one person to whom we could turn. He's almost fabulous enough to be a GayBoy. Ladies and ladies, The GayBoys are proud to present:


Emmett McCarthy, GayBoy #3. With Adorable Andy Cohen and Fab Tabs of course.


And she IS Fab. She looked gorgeous last night. She was wearing a fabulous pair of shoes but neither GayBoy 1 or 3 managed to get a picture. Bad GayBoys.


And how could we not have a pic with the Rivalry Heard 'Round the World? To be honest, there were no sparks flying. They're both sweet and friendly. We kept hoping one of them would throw a drink in the other's face, but alas, no such luck. Doesn't she look GOAWCHUSS?


Anthony brought his girl up for his little acceptance speech. Check out Miss Fabulous' little LV!

And speaking of Anthony...

HOT. Hotter in person.


Anthony was there with a "friend" and kittens? That is too much hotness for one picture.


Ben. What a doll. He was working a Mr. Roarke look last night and it suits him. His girlfriend is GOAWCHUSS - although this pic doesn't do her justice.

Hmmph. If Tom was there instead of Emmett, ALL the pictures would have been perfect. Just sayin'.


Of course we had to get another shot with Adorable Andy. He said he worries what would happen if Bravo ever put out a show the GayBoys hated. That's right. Fear the bitches.


Check out our little moptops! Theodore had to be told who Frodo was, but he loves the blog and so did Danna. Danna's only (joking) complaint was that we didn't write about her enough. Darling, you were too low-key! If you'd had a meltdown or threatened to destroy one of your competitors, we'd have been all over that shit!


With Dr. Boogie and his fabulous date for the evening. He was wearing an outrageous pair of platforms but once again, our fill-in failed to do the job. Emmett, we may have to review your file to see if you're still worthy to be a GayBoy.

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Lorenzo, with Daisy and her girlfriend and their fabulous boobs. Seriously. We can't stop looking at those things.

EVANGELIN! Rocking the Pucci print! Lorenzo ran up to her and said "How's our little under-voweled Italian?" She shrieked (just as you would expect her to) with delight. She's a bubbly sweetheart and her husband's kinda hot. No pics of the husband. Emmett, you suck.


Shake it, girls! Honestly, everyone was friendly, laid back and fabulous. Lorenzo says out of the three finales we've been to, this one was the most fun because the competitors were all genuinely happy to be there and to see each other again. EVERYONE knew about us and everyone thanked us for writing about the show. Feel our bloggy power, bitches.



Rene darling, stay out of the sun! We're in pain just looking at you. Can we see your tanline?

Speaking of which, Emmett was all "Is that the guy whose ass you were talking about? Let's get a picture!"

Surreptitious attempt #1. A good try, but we're not getting the full effect.


Rene was like "What are you doing?" and Emmett said matter-of-factly "Taking a picture of your ass." He tried to get away, but Lorenzo and Daisy held him down for the piece de resistance:

Nice. It's a tiny little thing, isn't it?

Not to be outdone, Anthony was all "Hey! What about MY ass?"


Et voila. It's true what they say about Black men. No, that OTHER thing they say about Black men. Emmett, you can stay, because neither of us would have had the nerve to do that. You are the official GayBoy ass man.

Anyway, if you can't tell, GayBoys 1 & 3 had a fabulous time, mainly because the crowd was so much damn fun. GayBoy 2 hates them both.

Congratulations Anthony!

Darlings, our world has gone cold and gray this morning. There is no more Shear Genius in our foreseeable future.

*pout*


On the other hand, what a FANTASTIC show last night! Those bitches brought their A game and once again we sit in awe of the incredible job the producers do in coming up with these entertaining and drama-filled challenges. And unlike other shows, most of the challenges (okay, not the hedge trimmer one) are rooted in the real world of hair styling. No corn husk dresses here.

We loved that the stylists all got dressed up for the final challenge. All three of them lined up like that made them look like characters in a Tarantino movie only with styling combs instead of guns.

It's also to the credit of the final 3 that there wasn't a drop of drama or nastiness among them. You'd think that would make for a boring show but it was fun to sit there and root for all three of them, not caring who wins.

Unfortunately, only one could win and we have to say, the right one won. We'll get into critiques later, but Daisy kind of crashed and burned and Ben really stepped up, but it was Anthony who calmly and coolly went about his work and pulled it out.

And Vidal Sassoon! What an adorable little old hair elf he turned out to be! We admit, we were a little shocked at how much older he looks. Our main memories of him are those commercials from the '70s. But he was such a little sweetheart and the stylists were practically in tears at the sight of him. You can tell he still gets a thrill out of hair styling. How many times did he tell the models to shake their heads and then responded with utter glee? The man is practically a holy figure among stylists and when it comes down to it, he's still just a guy who loves a good haircut.

Like we said, we'll get into the nitty gritty later. We just wanted to bask in the glow of a fun and fabulous finale devoid of obvious producer manipulation. It was just about talented people being entertaining by showing off what they can do and doing it fabulously. Bravo, Bravo.

Like you, Tom watched the finale on his couch in a haze of painkillers and muscle relaxers. Okay, maybe y'all weren't hopped on drugs but we highly recommend it. The show takes on a whole new meaning when you're high enough to have conversations with your throw pillows. We only wished we'd had some when Evangelin was still in the game.

Lorenzo, on the other hand...


That bitch. We hate him, don't we, kittens?


Although, truth be told, our marriage was on the line because the last thing Tom said before Lorenzo traipsed out the door was "If you meet Jaclyn Smith tonight, don't bother coming home. It's over." Fortunately for us, Jaclyn wasn't at the party - but everybody else was and we'll have a ton of pictures up in a bit.

Who comes UP with this stuff?

We plopped down on the couch last night, ready to sulk and pout and hate the show now that Tabs and Tyson are gone. We hang our heads in shame for ever doubting the producers. Once Rene put his hands on his tiny little hips and announced the challenge, we perked right up.

We sit in amazement that anyone could come up with so many fun and dramalicious challenges all revolving around hair styling. No offense to the stylists out there, but we never could have predicted that this show would be so much fun.

A photo shoot with Matthew Rolston. Genius. A huge burst of fabulosity and a challenge to every designer. Those bitches were sweating their asses off last night. He may be an adorable little brushtop, but you can feel the raging bitch lurking underneath whenever he's working.


Props to Miss Daisy! She was fun and wide-eyed and yet totally professional and on her game. She's a joy to watch and we're rooting for her.

Yeah, you could argue that she had the easiest look to accomplish, but it DID look amazingly hot in the end and like we said, she conducted herself perfectly, with absolutely no bumps in the road. You couldn't say that about any of the other stylists.

Can we just say that we never really got a chance to get into it, but we really can't stand him? Ignoring his continued insistence upon his heterosexuality (which, admittedly, is near-impossible to ignore), his constant mouthing off about his supposed superiority coupled with his complete inability to listen to anyone else just got on our last gay nerves, girls.

It's all well and good to be confident in your abilities, but you better be able to cash that check. For the most part, Boogie never really did.

He made poor Martinique look like someone dumped a bucket of wigs on her head. It seems like almost everything he ever did had that heavily-lacquered drag queen/Dreamgirls look to it. It's a pretty limiting aesthetic and even then, he didn't always execute it well. It's to the judges' credit that they cut another "personality" and, refreshingly, they did it in part because his personality was so grating and unprofessional.

There's some disagreement in Chez T&L regarding Ben. Tom just can't help but root for him. He's the quintessential underdog. NO ONE seems to think he deserves to be there. We're not even sure he thinks so. Lorenzo agrees but then again he's still breaking dishes over Tabs' exit.

We admit it, we fell for the editing last night. We thought he was a goner.

Granted, we don't necessarily agree with Matthew on this one. He seemed really impressed with the final look but we're on Michael Carl's side. It was pretty basic, bordering on cheesy. Sure, it made for a great shot, but it's Matthew Rolston, for crying out loud.

Still, Ben is such a sweetheart that it's hard not to be on his side a little bit, broken dishes notwithstanding.

Anthony's another sweetie and because he looks great in a tight shirt, we tend to give him a bit of a free pass. He's clearly very talented, but he seems to skirt close to screwing up as often as he does to producing something great.

We're definitely glad to see him in the final 3, but this hair was ass. She doesn't look retro or glamour. She looks scary. None of that hair looks like it's attached to her head. Like she's lying on a wigpillow.

We'll have more to talk about - especially that reunion show - but just wanted to say congrats to our girl Tabs for winning the $10,000 viewer's favorite prize last night. You go, Hair Witch!